I just read the section in Notebook magazine about 'The age I am'...and as I have about 7 weeks before I turn 30 I was curious to read other people's perspectives on aging. If you've read it I'd be interested to hear what you thought. I found it thought provoking if nothing else. Although one comment from the writer in her 50's made me profoundly sad,
'The thought of my own death comes more often now. I'm not a religious person, so every day I try to come to terms with the extraordinary notion I'll return to the nothingness of before I was born'.
I certainly am not at the stage in life where I am faced with my own mortality on a daily basis (although none of us have any guarantees, no matter how young) but I am reassured at the very core of my being that I don't have to face nothingness when that day comes. In fact, I have the great privilege of knowing that when I do die, I will see my friend, my saviour, the lover of my soul and there can be nothing sweeter. What a blessing that instead of viewing death with fear, or worse - apathy - I can instead view it as a reward.
Strangely enough, as I close in on that milestone of turning 30 I am getting excited. When I turned 29 I was horrified at the thought of 30 being so close (and don't laugh if you're well past 30 and never felt that way!) but now...I don't know, I feel like it's gonna be the start of a great adventure! I am SO much more comfortable in my own skin. I have learned many, many lessons (with many more to come) and am grateful that God loves me for who I am but also loves me enough to take me beyond that...to dig deeper and deeper in me and weed out the stuff that's ugly and unnecessary and doesn't glorify Him.
One thing's for sure tho, when my mortality is staring me in the face, I want to cling to the promises of my God and know that it won't be long before I see His face. And I want to look back on my life knowing I gave it my best shot, that I lived in the moment and thanked Him each day for the blessings He poured out. That I left a legacy of love that pointed people to Jesus as the everlasting hope. I can't do that alone, but I don't have to ;) cause He'll never leave me, no matter how old I get!
6 comments:
I did feel touchy when I turned 30 which only intensified a decade later!!!
This is a really beautiful post, Kylee - to know that we will see Jesus is, indeed, a sweet thought!!
I know exactly what you mean....years ago 30 sounded really old, but as I approached 30 I kind of looked forward to it and actually felt good about being 'in my 30s' (although something inside me still feels about 22!!!)
Ohhh... 30!! You go first... let me know how it feels :)
i remember i didn't enjoy 29 as i felt it was the end of something... but it wasn't. i read somwehere that the 30's are a time in a woman's life when youth and maturity co-exist in harmony. i liked that, but in four years will need another mantra! i saw a magazine cover recently which said "40 is the new black" i'll have to remember that one. :-) i have the latest Notebook as well, but haven't read that article yet, so sorry about the long comment which doesn't answer your question at all!!
lol - thanks guys :) nice to know I'm not the only one who's felt a little weird about turning 30. I'm in the process of planning something for it now, hoping as I look forward to that it'll ease the transition!
I totally lost the plot at 30!! I had never been concerned with my age ever... until I turned 30 it was like a switch in my head went off and it has been my body that most feels it these days :(
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